Last night I read a news article about a Sandy Hook father who committed suicide, likely due to depression stemming from the horrific death of his young child.
I get it.
As a grieving dad myself it’s not the path I’d choose, but I truly understand why somebody would even though our situations are different. I’ve wanted to write this article for weeks but have procrastinated. I’ve shared what I intended to write with a few close friends who have encouraged me to write it even if I get blowback. If it helps save the life of just one grieving parent by giving them hope, then wouldn’t it be worth it?
After reading last night’s story, the answer to that is yes.
So here we go, no guts no glory.
My beautiful six-year-old daughter, Sally, died in September of last year. She beat cancer at a young age, but the treatment used to save her life likely contributed to her death. After two years of chemo starting at the age of ten months, she developed refractory epilepsy, was mentally and physically delayed and was on 24/7 oxygen support the final year of her life among other health complications. My wife and I were
Despite
That was our daughter Sally, in the darkest times she was always our light.
Just before she passed away, my wife and I left the ICU and took a walk to prepare ourselves should Sally not survive. Having a child with serious medical needs exposed us to so many parents who had lost a child. Most, like the father mentioned above, continued to live with depression and either couldn’t or were unwilling to rediscover joy. There was sadness, anger and bitterness. My wife and I vowed that should the worst happen, we could not be those parents. We needed to rally, to be like Sally.
Sally died two days later.
If you’ve never lost a child, imagine the worst you could ever feel and multiply it by a thousand. Even that doesn’t touch the depths of hell you’re in, it is truly unimaginable. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. My chest literally hurt, it was the black hole of emotional darkness. You want to crawl into the fetal position and never leave it.
You feel like you have nothing left to live for.
Shortly after losing Sally we heard from so many parents who had lost a child. We thought they would be our biggest source of support, but instead many projected their own depression onto us. We heard comments like:
“At least you got six years with your child.”
“You’ll cry every day for the rest of your life.”
“The pain you’re feeling never goes away.”
“You’ll never truly be happy again.”
Those early days were a blur, I can’t remember who said what, but there were no words of inspiration to latch onto. None. Some parents even told us that they use medications or alcohol to keep themselves going. They revealed that they weren’t as strong as the image they put on social media.
Marriages failed, jobs lost, families torn apart, thoughts of suicide.
We then tried to find professional help, but even though we live in one of the largest cities in the world we couldn’t find a single qualified therapist anywhere near our neighborhood in Southern Brooklyn. We’d have to
We instead turned to other friends, but they obviously could not relate. Most who have experienced grief in different forms offered advice like this:
“It will never get any easier, you just learn to live with it.”
(I easily heard that one a hundred times)
“I don’t know how you’re even standing, I couldn’t live if it was my child who died.”
There was nobody to turn to, everywhere we searched led to depression. It was isolating. I remember crying in our bed one night telling my wife how alone I felt we were. It was like we were alone on an island, an island lacking any hope for rescue.
Now, imagine being on that island in the deepest levels of depression, and people keep telling you that it won’t get better. Or that they themselves couldn’t live if they experienced what you actually did. Or the pain never goes away.
It’s devastating. It removes all hope that life can go on, which is how I can relate to why that grieving father took his own life.
I get it.
I know people will say that’s not their intent, but that is exactly the way that statements
After finding none of the support we needed, we then realized that Sally herself had already shown us that there was another way to live. To rally. Despite her
We made the decision that we would keep living like Sally, for Sally. For her brothers. To have hope that things would get better, even without our little girl at our side. We would not be angry or bitter. Making that decision in a way freed our minds to begin the search for a path towards rediscovering joy on our own.
Shortly after Sally died when I first started hearing the negative comments above, they would pull me further into depression. One day after thinking about how Sally always rallied, I caught myself and thought, “
It was my own little epiphany. It made me realize that there was a massive void of support, hope, and encouragement for grieving parents. Instead of letting these comments suck me down, they became my own personal motivation. I started countering people by saying that yes, I believed the pain would get better. In fact, the pain was already better than it was a few months ago, so why then couldn’t it be better a few months from now? It was like being released from chains to find the untraveled path.
It gave us hope.
We are lucky, Sally taught us how to be the light in darkness through our six years with her. We have no doubts about how she would want us to live, it was her final gift to us.
Around the same time as this epiphany a childhood friend visited me. He is at the end of a long military career and experienced death and tragedy firsthand both at home and in war. When I explained how I had been feeling like I was on an island without hope due to people’s comments, he looked me square in the eyes and said, “Ignore them, that’s bullshit. It does get better, and I assure you it will get better. I don’t focus on the way my buddies and family died, I focus on the way they lived, and I think about the times they made me laugh.”
It was the first time somebody else had given me hope, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear it from somebody else. I want other grieving parents to hear this too.
Yes, it can get better, but you need to accept that it can.
Since then I have made a conscious effort to find joy every day, just like Sally did. I also don’t avoid the emotionally hard things, I dive into them as I feel like avoiding only makes things worse and puts off the inevitable. Just rip that band-aid off. I’ve even managed to have fun at times. It came with guilt at first, but that began to soften when I remembered that Sally would want me to be happy.
Guilt is another depression driver. How do you not feel guilty that you live while your child does not? How do you not second-guess any decisions you made? I’ve been told by so many people that I shouldn’t feel guilty, but that’s easier said than done and a lot of pressure to put on a grieving parent. I don’t think there’s any way to shut that off completely. At least this early in my own path I can’t, but I don’t allow myself to linger too long in that guilt. Once I feel myself going there I reign it back in quickly as it won’t lead anywhere good. You can’t change the past, but you can live for the future.
That’s not to say searching for this path to rediscovering joy is easy, in
- I must still live my life, I’m not allowed to crawl into a ball or just sit around. I go to work or whatever else I have planned that day, even if I’m bawling my eyes out. My bosses are now familiar with my “FYI – I’m a mess today” emails that I send them on those days.
- I’m allowed to be upset for 24 hours. It’s not healthy to keep that in, and
there’s times where you simply can’t. I can cry and vent as much emotion as I want, afterthat I need to pick myself up again. I need to keep going, to be like Sally.
So here I am, searching for the untraveled path. I don’t know if I’ll ever find it, I may even fail. But one thing is for sure, I refuse to give up my search or the hope that it exists. I will continue to share my journey, my failures, and my learning so that others will not feel alone on an island as I did. I will try to find a way to educate others on how they can better support bereaved families.
Hopefully, we will all rediscover the joy that our children would want us to have. For me personally, I choose to #BeLikeSally.
Matt Kabel
You taught Sally to “be like Sally”! Carry on and God Bless! Great lessons for us all! XOXO
Being almost 9 years out from losing my son to AML I can relate to what you say. Yes, the first couple of years were rough but now I can find joy again and for the most part, when I think about my son, I smile. I was blessed to have been his mom even if he had to leave earlier than I had anticipated. He too rallied in the midst of all his pain and the indignities he had to suffer and he showed me the face of a hero. Hang in there….it really does get better. Love, Dimitri’s mom
Your a true inspiration. Every time I think of you guys or read one of your posts it makes me want to be a better person and better parent.
Thank you so much for sharing this. When you told me this it really hit home. When people haven’t been through something but desperately want to offer the “right” support we often get it wrong. Instead of getting mad or annoyed you choose to #belikesally and simply tried to help me understand you need the hope. I get it. I would too. We all need hope even in the face of unimaginable pain and loss. And that is what Sally would want too. Love you both so much. xo
You and Nicole are two amazing people, a gift to all who know you. You honor Sally by living out her positive attitude and being able to share her spirit with all who read your message. God bless.
Sally got it from you, and gave it back. An amazing circle.
You’re my hero, Matt Kabel.
You are an amazing person. I remember when one of my friend’s sons died suddenly on his 21st birthday. I spoke with her about a week later and I projected what I would probably do if I was in her shoes. I said what do you do all day – do you stay in bed and pull up the covers over your head? And she answered, no – that’s not who I am – I try to take a walk every day and have a lot of people who walk with me. I learned then to not project and to support her where she was at any given moment. She found joy in her life and thought about how her son would have wanted her to live. And that is what guides her. Another friend talks about her new normal – her son took his life 4 years ago. She tries to find joy every day and some days it’s hard but she always finds something that brings her some amount of joy. I know that Sally followed your lead and now you and your family are following her lead. Thank you for sharing. I hope that you find some piece of joy every day as I’m sure you will as you honor SSS’s legacy.
Reading this I appreciate your words. On Sunday I felt like I saw a little more of that smile I knew of you when we sat with Jimmy and Nicole at Chadwick’s just talking about life. You and Nicole have inspiring smiles. I appreciate that your not allowing this to take over you and your life. Your family is very lucky to have you and Nicole. God bless you all ♥️
We love you! Your not alone, we love and miss her so much too! Angelina talks about Sally all the time. She feels the pain every time she grows out of a piece of clothes that normally she would have happily put aside for Sally. She gets very sad but she still always talks about her and sometimes she says that she sees her in her joyful moments and I believe her. Anytime you feel like you want to talk, cry or just have some company we are here for you and your family. Your words are truly inspiring. Sally is so proud of you, I know it!!!!#belikesally
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. That has been my motto since my son died. Remember all the joy and happiness that he and Sally and all the others who have gone before us have given us. And each day thank God for the beautiful gift they were to us. You, Nicole and the boys are amazing and I am so proud of you all.
Wow,that was indeed very helpful to all bereaved parents!.I too lost my eldest son to All leukemia almost 3 years now and I truly understand the journery that we are taking as long as we live here on earth.Life is tough but we have to keep going…..grief suddenly strikes anywhere ,anytime!I Learn to live with it but I still make sure I got all the memories of my child ko keep going.I know and I feel though they are not with us physically but spiritually they are our guiding light.They helped us intercede to God for strength and hope!Keep going……our Angels are always with us until we meet them again one day in God’s appointed time with us!
Hugs to you and to all bereaved parents!
Matt, you and your family are amazing. Live Like Sally is right. Things will get better. Time must heal some of the deep wounds and the beautiful memories you have of your sweet girl must often put a smile on your face. Keep up moving forward and watching the light that Sally puts before you. God bless you all. I pray for all childhood cancer patients every day because of Sally. Tina
Sally taught many people some very valuable lessons! Your family is truly an Inspiration. We love you Sweet Sally Sunshine, will always be in our hearts! #belikesally
Matt, You and your family are remarkably strong.
I first followed Sally Sunshine through a colleague in advertising. I would love seeing you going to the beach, knowing Sally loved the beach club.
I loved how your community rallied around you, but the pain of loss is just too horrific to imagine.
I work for an organization called Stars of HOPE, I have wanted to offer a project of Stars of HOPE to honor Sally however it would be best for you. (we had stars all around Brooklyn and Breezy Point after Sandy)
You have had every reason to lose hope, but without hope, we cease to exist.
Than joy for articulating this so well. We lost of Edie April 6th, 2018 and share I a similar experience with the lack of support. She and Sally shared that same rally. We made 3 promises to edie- 1)we’d be the best parents we could to her sister which was due April 11th (I actually went into labor right after Edie died and her sister Eleanor was born 11 hrs later), 2) we would do everything in our power to help other cancer families and to work toward a cure and 3) we would remain committed to our marriage— as soon as we completed these promises Edie took her last three breaths. She had always shown us how to live and she continued to direct us even at the end. She then sent her sister right away as we had feared leaving her for the last time. She has given us purpose, was a bright light that continues to guide us and so we choose hope as you do. A little hope goes a long way. I am actually studying for my masters in social work and I am currently training as a senior family advisor at NYU- the hospital Edie was treated at and died at. My hope is that the commitment of helping others and maybe even provide a mustard seed of hope for those going through a similar experience. Thank you so much for writing these words, they are so very needed.
**correction- we faced a similar experience of how so few resources existed in NYC after losing a child. We actually were very lucky with the support we found. The social worker and pediatric bereavement coordinator who worked with us as Edie was passing was amazing as well as everyone on edies care team and especially nursing’s, oncology and palliative. The bereavement coordinatoe actually creates a small parent bereavement group which we attend and the other couples have been inspiring, we all lost our children around the same time and are lucky enough to share in joy despite our grief.
Hi Matt – Sally truly had amazing parents who taught her how to give joy each and every day. My Maggie died unexpectedly last November and I have heard all of those gut-wrenching platitudes as well. I tell myself each day that Maggie’s superpower was to spread joy. She would be sad if I was curled up in a ball in bed. I do agree that the “firsts” completely stink. Thanksgiving, Christmas, my older daughter’s birthday on 3/17 – all completely hard but I know that my precious girl had a joyful life, even when she was sick – and she was sick a lot!, and I’d be doing her a disservice to wallow in misery. Stay strong. Sending love to you and your wife.
I don’t know firsthand of a braver or more inspiring family than yours. You have taught many of us the meaning of strength and perseverance. I will always remember Sweet Sally and her Amazing Family 💛
I don’t know firsthand of a braver or more inspiring family than yours. You have taught many of us the meaning of strength and perseverance. I will always remember Sweet Sally and her Amazing Family 💛
Thank you for your honesty and courage! I lost a sibling when I was four and my family never spoke about it. I never met your daughter but I wish I had, I think Sally could have taught us all what a gift life is! You and your family are in my prayers and heart!
Check out EVERMORE site on FB … they care about grieving our children…♡
I lost my 28 year old son the day after Mother’s Day in 2010. The “firsts” were the worst and even today tsunami waves of grief will knock me to my knees with just a simple song, smell, or sometimes there isn’t a reason.
I heard Dr. Phil share a story with a mother who was not able to get a grip with life after loosing her daughter. “ All the angels in Heaven carried a lit candle except for this one little angel who walked around looking sad all the time without his candle being lit. This new angel asked another angel the reason for this. The reply was that the angel’s mother’s tears kept it from being able this way.
I recalled this story after Matthew’s death and I want his candle to SHINE!
No. It’s not easy, but my faith in the resurrection assures me that I will see him again and that will be for be for an eternity !
Many Blessings
I heard the same Dr. Phil and it made an impact. The grief for those who pass blind their souls to earth. I want my son to fly free onto his next adventure.
There is joy after loss. Our daughter passed away 12 years ago. She never wanted to see us cry. We push forward. Some days are hard. It does get better. Thank you for sharing. Your words touched my heart.
I applaud your choice to actively live and be happy. I also lost a daughter, she was 16 when diagnosed with brain cancer. She passed one year later, but one of the last things she said to me, is that she didn’t want to look down on me and see me crying. She wanted me to live.
It’s been ten years, some tougher than others, I talk about her all the time, but I live, laugh and embrace life strongly. It’s the only way I survive.
Thank you for sharing 💕
Such a great tribute to Sally. Great advice. Keep moving forward. Be like Sally. Hope is healing. Love is Everlasting. Believe and be open to it he fact that Sally is with you – always.
Beautifully said. Sally wants you to be happy and have joy in your life. She would want you to continue to lead your lives and find joy in the things you do. Live for Sally and make it the best life you can
I totally agree there’s not enough information for grieving parents. I spent 4 months on the couch after losing my 7 year old daughter. But then I got up and fought to live each day, learning 5 minutes at a time. It’s always going to be different but you can survive. I chose to trust God through the valley and finally emerged on the other side. Forever and always.Brendle Overly our sweet daughter gone to soon at age 7
You are an inspiration to everyone. Have faith in God. May God continue to bless you all.
This article is very amazing. It’s hard for me to explain. This June will be 13 years since I lost my oldest son. He died nine days before he would have been two. I do believe in all the depression and among other things to. This is really bad feeling that I wanted to be with my son. Then I started to realize that I have another child that needs me. I need to be strong for me and know that one day I will see him again. I believe in God and the miracles. The truth is I am a living and breathing miracle.
Thank you for this. On Saturday it will be one year since I lost my sweet girl to cancer. Losing her hurt more than I could have ever imagined. But I too decided I owed it to her to find joy. Today was a beautiful day spent surrounded by family. I felt hope. Joy. Happiness. And peace. I talked about my sweet girl and how much she would have loved the day and I knew she was happy that we were together. There is hope. And it’s a beautiful thing.
Beautifully said and courageously stated. You have experienced the worst of the worst that could happen. It is something that every parent fears sometime. I can understand how a parent would say “I could not go on if I lost my child”. It is the unthinkable. You and your wife have shown the tremendous depth of your character and your grasp of reality to do the best you can do with what you have been given. I can only say I believe all of Sally’s survivors and admirers recognize what your family and Sally’s gift has been to us. A lesson of love, sorrow and appreciation for living the day as if it were your last. I personally have never physically met you, your family and sweet Sally but I feel your joy, your appreciation for the good times and your strength in the bad times. Sally will always be part of my thoughts and in my prayers and I am a stranger. What a tremendous legacy for a six year old little girl. Thank you for allowing us to share life as it is good, bad and on going.
This is powerful and beautifully written. I lost my spouse to suicide 16 months ago. I know more now than I ever did about stupid things people say, having others leave your life and that mental health is woefully under funded. You are doing so amazing and I too try to find the joy as well as trying to raise awareness of mental health issues.
Hugs from another member of Bills Mafia #belikesally #bethevoice
I don’t know the hell of losing a child…..but I do know the hell of depression. I’ve always said that it is not enough to say “I’m Sorry” to someone who’s lost a loved one (never mind their precious child). Im going to start saying….”this is awful and unfair and really fu••ed up”. May the rest of Sally’s journey be filled with all the love and sunshine ☀️ she left behind.
Matt,
Thanks for sharing! You are an amazing guy!
As a parent who has not experienced the death of a child, I ask myself how I can be a better friend to a parent who has? I realize I can’t relate…but what *can* I do? From what I’ve heard, it’s best to just listen to the friend who is grieving. I so wish there is more I could do…I wish I could take the pain for y’all. You’ve already experienced so much.
Ski wish I had the chance to know Sally. Her smile still brightens the world!
Again, thanks for stepping out and writing this!
I’m a member of this Club too–the one no parent ever wants to belong to. My little guy and his friend Graeme were run down by an elderly driver. Kevin had turned 13 three days before. Both boys were killed. Kevin was my youngest, and my world seemed to come to a crashing halt that night. But it didn’t. The world kept turning and life went on around me. Wait! How can this happen? My child was dead–how are people laughing and planning their lives when mine had stopped? It took a full two months for me to realize Kevin wasn’t coming back no matter how I prayed, begged, bargained, cried. In reaction to extreme grief, my body started to believe it was dying too, and I wasn’t going to tell it anything different. My hair fell out, I lost 20 lbs in 8 weeks, and my blood work looked like I was on chemo. My doctor told me if I didn’t change my path my kids would lose me, too.
Someone said to me, “You don’t honor Kevin’s life by giving up yours. His time here was 13 years and 3 days. Go make up for what he wasn’t able to do in his time here. My sister came over, told me to get in her car. She drove me to the local community college and said, “Pick something”. I had never gone to college, but I chose nursing…I wanted to be a nurse when I was a kid.
Eleven years later, I am working on a doctorate in nursing. I make a difference to someone every single day, for Kevin. I share his story with others who have suffered loss, and I will be getting my certification in psychiatry and mental health. The way we see death in this country isn’t supportive of those who are grieving– we view death as losing a battle, as a failure instead of as a normal continuum of life. People are uncomfortable talking to others who are suffering from loss. They dont know what to say, so what they offer seems cold, heartless, thoughtless.
My advice to anyone who has lost a loved one, especially a child: Start a journal of memories. My fear was I would forget my beloved memories, and writing preserves them and also puts focus on a beautiful life, not the sadness of what happened. Don’t wallow. Allow a certain amount of time each day to cry, scream, be angry, and then tuck this away for the next time and go live life. Find a purpose to make a difference to honor your loved one. Make changes in this world–I used my experiences to develop a program for “driving retirement” to help people whose elderly parents were still driving to get them to turn over the keys.
Each of us walks through our own journey of life. I’m not religious, but I have faith that there is more after this life. I hope Kevin is proud of me–he once asked me what I would do if he died, and I told him I would cry forever. He got very sad and told me he didn’t want me to do that. Inside, I will always grieve, always wonder what sort of man he would have been. I am doing my best to make a difference, though, for both of us.
Matt, Thank you for sharing your story. My wife and I lost our 12 year old son on 9/11/17. Jerron was so full of life, He enjoyed everything a normal 12 year old kid loves. He also had an amazing ability to connect with people no matter what age. We have had numerous elderly people and young children tell us about how much Jerron meant to them for the things he would do that we did not know about. His death was a sudden tragic accident, he walked out the door one afternoon and said “see y’all in a little bit” like he had done a thousand times, only this time he never came back. It is the most devastating news a parent can get. It turns your whole life upside down. My wife and I knew there were only 2 choices, #1 curl up and die, or #2 live life for Jerron. We chose to LIVE FOR JERRON and yes we have extremely hard days and nights sometimes, but our son wants us to let him live through us and that is what we do. I am so sorry you lost your precious daughter and I am glad you are letting her live through y’all.
Thank you so much for your generosity in sharing the most intimate thoughts with us.
Matt, your courage and strength are so inspiring. You and Nicole are making Sally proud. Love and prayers for you guys and all the families that are dealing with loss. 😘🙏🏻🌻
What a beautiful tribute to your daughter. I wish you and your family the very best in finding the joy and the ability to forge forward – as Sally would want you to do.
So true I share your grief that’s exactly how I feel thank you for putting the feelings grieving parents can relate too never do we think we would travel this horrible road
Beautiful. .and oh so true. Live like Sally….indeed…we shall.
Your letter is one of a kind. I am blessed to have been chosen by God to be the earthly momma to my daughter. She was 33 when He called her home. If she’s that special…I know God needs her. That belief brings me peace. Be well.
A beautiful tribute, Matt, and so well-said. I bought some flowers yesterday, just because, and the arrangement has 2 small sunflowers. I thought of Sally. She is everywhere. xo
Thank you for having the courage to share. God bless you & your family
Thank you for writing and sharing this Matt, I’m not a bereaved parent but I’ve been supporting families whose children have dipg for many years. I often read people comment that it never gets better, it will always hurt that much. 8 think they are right in one instance, on a bad day, it can feel just as bad as it did at the beginning, it’s just not all the time any more. You incorporate grief into your life and you can find joy and happiness again. I don’t know that from my own experiences but through watching hundreds of families make the tough journey from the early days of grief to the place they are in five, ten years plus. Yes the miss their child, they wonder who he or she would be doing now, but I see them enjoying life and having wonderful times with their families. That’s the hope and I truly believe in it.
Thank you for sharing. I am coming up to 1 year since the passing of my son, Tyler. Every word you said I concur. You gave me hope to keep going and I too understood how that parent felt. Days are truly unbearable, but our children wants us to live. When we are happy they are happy. When people ask me how I’m doing, I say better than day 1. Many friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and so on will never understand us because they have not walked in our shoes. Im so proud of you and Sally is as well.
God Bless You & Your Family.
Tyler’s Mom- Lisa
Hang in there Lisa, we’re all going to get through this together. Strength in numbers.
Love this, and so true! I feel the same way and lead the same as you. People can be insensitive, but we know it is not intentional, but it still hurts. I haven’t spent even 1 single day in my bed all day since the loss of my beautiful 17 year old son 12/11/18. I move forward and LIVE, but yes, there are bad days, or now I can say okay hours and bad dark hours. The first 8 weeks were zombie and mush brain for me, but I have improved greatly and will continue to improve with Chandler within my heart. He will be with me at all times and we will continue to LIVE. I see and feel him all around me! Wishing you a journey with love and memories forward!
Thanks so much for sharing this, I myself pushed on with life for years slowly crawling my way out of my grief 💔 I tried to be brave and carry on with life, as like Sally showed you, Adam showed me how to be brave and still live his life despite suffering 🙏 it was 20+ years on when my grief resurfaced & I realised I’d been holding onto that sadness but I found a way of releasing my sadness and a way to truly live life from a place of love despite the tradegy I’d suffered and this is my mission to help as many parents as I can do the same 💕🙏 much love to you Jude 💕 http://www.sadnesstosunshine.com
I’ve been wondering how your family was doing and then this entry dropped in my inbox, I’m so glad that you wrote this.
We could write a book on stupid things people say after someone dies…we learn algebra in school but not how to care for each other. I’ve never used algebra again!
I volunteer as a support group facilitator at an awesome organization called Imagine here in NJ (www.imaginenj.org), far from you in Brooklyn but really an amazing place. We support families who’ve lost a child or spouse/partner based on the work of The Dougy Center (www.dougy.org). I love my work there. I think you would like it too.
Hang in there, it really does get better. It’s not a matter of getting “over it” or even getting beyond it, we just learn to carry it. Wishing you the best.
Everything you wrote is spot on. I lost my 19 yr son to a car accident 30 yrs ago and I miss him every day! I miss and love him so much and in the beginning couldn’t fathom how I could go on. But life doesn’t stop and you do laugh again and move on but life will never be the same . You wrote it beautifully and I think you are a beautiful person and your family as well. Bless you and your family!
I am a retired PICU nurse. Thank you for your beautiful and helpful words. Sally was a beautiful little girl. May God be with you and your family.
Thank you for sharing this amazing authentic post! I am so touched by your resolve and beautiful intention to LIVE your life!
My name is Jackie Gale. I’m a Certified Health And Wellness Coach helping people (like yourself) process their losses by sharing Powerful techniques for effective grief recovery. I applaud your intentional decision to Live, shifting your mindset to what gives you Joy, and now bringing this message to those who are stuck in despair and depression!
It’s an honor to share your heartfelt space, with others experiencing a journey of extreme grief! You are such an inspiration!
Thank you so much for telling your story. It really resonated with me and how I too, desire to help so many move forward with new hope and joy.
i would be delighted to chat with you sometime and learn more about you and how your story could be a benefit for my clients, and see how my coaching program may be of service to benefit others you may know who are stuck in the grief and mindset of despair. It’s really about the “Belief” work of choosing to Live. (Exactly as you have described).
I look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Jacqueline Gale
This! This is what I’ve been searching for and needing to hear. For the past 3 months since my 4 year old princess died I’ve spent hours upon hours searching for some kind of hope from somebody who’s been/going through what I am. I read posts from parents years into their grieving a child and they absolutely terrify me. Thank you for showing me there is hope because when everything precious to you has been taken, hope is all you have left
I lost my beautiful son suddenly last September. He was the love of my life. My husband and I could relate to everything you said. You have given hope back to us in the midst of your own grief. What a kind and unselfish thing to do! Thank you, Matt. God bless you, your family, and your beautiful Sally.
Thank you so much for the positive thoughts and giving me hope 💔💞
I was so happy to read an update on you and your family. It is wonderful to be as resilient as you are, a true tribute to Sally. I hope the future for your family remains as bright as Sally’s smile and as strong as her spirit. All of my best Laura McKenna