Excited for Mother’s Day!

Hi everyone – Mother’s Day morning was wonderful.  Most important we were all under one roof! The best present ever! The bonus, I was able to sleep in a bit and awoke to our ongoing tradition of breakfast in bed accompanied with plants and handmade presents.

Breakfast in bed.

I read several posts, articles, and viewed photos of moms throughout the day and received many messages and texts. Quietly I reflected on those messages, on motherhood, on my own mother, grandmother and all the types of moms (single, cancer moms, moms who have lost a child, moms of disabled….). One cancer mom summed up something I want to share with all the moms who send me heartfelt messages remarking on my strength and love.

First I don’t have any superpowers. Before childhood cancer came into our lives I was just like you. In my own words, perfectly imperfect and learning all the time. So without superpowers how do you endure childhood cancer and still smile?

Often people remark on my strength. Here’s where I’m going to share another mom’s words to the super strength. I was put in a position where I had to demonstrate the incredible love and strength that is present in a caring mother. The silver lining of being a cancer mom is you get to see just how deep that well of strength is, of which we have nearly reached the bottom. We have the knowledge we can make it through the darkest hours…perhaps not always with complete grace, but we can make it.

I am grateful my well runs deep. For that I have my mother, grandmother and aunts to thank. My niece sent a picture of my Mom in Hawaii yesterday on a zip line!

Mom on a zip line!

I don’t often think of my mom as adventurous, but I’ve always admired her ability to live in the moment. Her well runs extremely deep. Between four children and eleven grandchildren she’s always managed to be more than enough for all of us. She is our rock. My oldest sister passed away five years ago, and my dad two years ago. Life isn’t always easy, but she finds a way to live in the moment and enjoy it. Same as her mama before her. I can’t imagine Mother’s Day after the loss of a child, no matter the age. Living in the childhood cancer community, their losses weigh heavily on us. I pray for all the Mama bears who are less cub and hoping they find peace one day.

Speaking of cubs, Ms. Sally is doing well. She and I spent Thursday night in the hospital because her potassium was very low. When it’s low, it has the risk of leading to a heart attack so doctors wanted to play it safe while they replenished her levels. It was likely caused by loose stools and digestive issues, but she is otherwise well. GI trouble seems to be something we are not going to shake anytime soon. Matt and I are doing our best to stabilize her weight, hydration and discomfort at times.

Happy to be home after a night in the hospital.

Overall she is doing better this round than last and WE ARE GRATEFUL! Yesterday Sally turned 20 months! She is becoming mischievous and is enjoying tormenting her brothers. Sally is the first child that we can’t wait to cause trouble and turn our home upside down which she is getting closer to all the time. Today I brought Sally into MSK for therapy and to have her blood and potassium checked, both were OK. On Thursday she receives the chemo Vincristine and Methotrexate. Methotrexate irritates her GI tract and can cause mucositis, the painful sores within her digestive system. Please pray her body heals before that chemo.

Mischievous Sally taking a bath.

The past three weeks have been very busy for our whole family. Balance and being there enough for our three kids has been a challenge. William turned five and had a party, and attended two friends’ birthday parties. I was even able to take him to one, a first for us! We had Easter at my mom’s, an amazingly normal holiday. Thomas made his First Communion. Both Matt and I were able to take him to church followed by a Hibachi dinner! All three kids have had updates or reviews for Early Intervention, CPSE, or IEP. Matt was away for three days last week and has been in the midst of his busy season at work. It’s been a lot of juggling and stress for all of us.

William’s birthday.

Watching Thomas get ready for his First Communion.

Hibachi!

However, this is the kind of busy I look forward to. The busy that comes from having three kids. Sally’s treatment made it a bit more challenging, but for the first time in a long time we all managed to somewhat experience the normal hectic life the way it was before cancer.

Yesterday I was fortunate to have an amazingly uneventful Mother’s Day. I’m grateful for my three children making me a mom. Each child teaches me different lessons as I grow along with them. If you learn anything as a parent from me, let it be to try and live in the moment. Enjoy your children and treasure uneventful days, boring is a luxury. We need far less material items and things. Time with our loved ones and our memories are our greatest treasures. Have faith that you all have wells as deep as your love for your children and I pray for you that you’ll never have need to be tested like we and others are being tested now. But rest assured that you too would find that your wells run deeper than you could have ever imagined.

Please keep Sally in your thoughts and prayers.

Nicole