Hi all – as I wrote earlier, Sally was admitted this morning due to a fever and low blood counts, and is in isolation with a cold. I spoke to Nicole earlier, and we misunderstood Sally’s counts, her WBC is .3, her ABS is actually .0. Basically, she has no immune system. Her platelets are also dropping and she is expected to need a transfusion of those in the coming days as well. This all means that Sally is bottoming out like she had in earlier cycles. I just spoke to Nicole and she said Sally is having some discomfort, so are giving her some morphine to make her a bit more comfortable. She’s also received two rounds of antibiotics.

This also means that Sally will likely be in the hospital for a couple days until her counts recover, and will very likely be spending Thanksgiving at Memorial Sloan Kettering. Without me there, some folks are already pitching in. Our friend AnnMarie is grabbing clothes and things for Nicole and running them in tonight, and our friend Kristen drove our car home as we won’t be needing it and there’s no sense in paying for a lot in Manhattan.

There was a chance of this happening, and Nicole and I had a brief discussion about whether I should still bring the boys or not. It was a very brief discussion. The day we first arrived as newbies at MSK back in June, the nurse told us that all the kids who come there obviously get treatment, but the majority of the kids who survive are the ones with parents who keep their marriages strong, and that keep life going for their family. If you don’t live, they won’t. They urged us to communicate as a family and not live in a box.

Nicole and I are determined to do just that. Our job as parents is to give our kids a good childhood. We’re not going to shut ourselves off to the world, stop being ourselves or stop living. We’ve always been outgoing and open people, we wear our hearts on our sleeves, we’re open books so what you see is what you get with us. It’s a big reason Sally has such a great support system as they’ve gotten to know us so well. The situation sucks, but as Nicole’s tough grandmother always said, it is what it is and you do what you gotta do. We’re not going to shutter the windows or turn into people that hide from public or make people feel sorry for us. We’re not going to muzzle ourselves. We’re gonna be our usual goofy and outgoing selves, keep living and set the example for our kids to follow. If we show any sign of quitting on life or changing, how can we expect Sally to keep fighting for hers?

If we don’t live our lives and continue to be oursleves, the cancer will win.

Therefore, even with Sally in the hospital, I need to focus on Thomas and William having a great time and put my concern for Sally aside while with them. The boys are having fun. They’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with my parents, who they don’t get to see often. They’ve swam like fish for hours at a time. A Sally supporter named Lisa, who has had to deal with similar issues with one of her own children, reached out after hearing we’re down here and sent us day passes for Disney World. She said the siblings of sick children give up a lot, they deserve a great time. My mom mentioned that Thomas told her life has been different since Sally got sick. I felt bad going to Disney as Nicole and Sally should be here, but Nicole told me to take them, they have earned a good time and who knows when we’ll get back down here as a family. Assuming the tickets arrive on time, I’m totally going to keep it a secret until we get there.

At the aquarium with Grandma

Thomas wanted Grampa to take him to church.

Breakfast at the beach, missing Mommy and Sally.

Swimming in the pool Daddy learned to swim in when he was their age.

Watch out William!

Nicole has a rough week ahead of her until I get back, I can’t tell you how frustrated I am to not be able to be there to help her. Thanks to all who have and will give her support over the next three days until our return. She is being very positive, we haven’t been on the inpatient side in so long so she is viewing this as “a way to visit old friends”, the nurses we got to know well early on. She’ll get through it because she’s tough, and because she’s going into it with positive thoughts and humor. Will I owe her some foot rubs? You bet.

Life goes on, we’ll keep you updated as the week goes on. Please keep Sally in your thoughts and prayers.

Matt